Instead of watching The Three Stooges last night, I wanted something funnier, so I watched The Six Stooges, aka Fox “News.”
They did not disappoint. They were hilarious.
I. Blonde Bombers
Two attractive, compliant, blonde young “yes-ladies”—you know, the kind Trump likes to hire instead of competent, experienced, honest people—told America the problem was messaging.
You see, the Republicans did everything right. The economy is great. The war is great. The lack of healthcare is great. I.C.E cruelty is great. Tariffs are great. Cutting healthcare is great. Affordability is great. Gas prices are great. Book burning is great. January 6 was great. Trump making $2 billion in two years is great.
The real problem was the messaging.
In other words, the electorate is too stupid to understand Trump’s greatness, and having learned nothing, the GOP would do exactly the same thing if given a chance in two years. They don’t get the message.
II. Spinerama
One of the FOX talking heads — a male this time — said to his pals, “Let’s discuss how we can spin this.” Little did the dope know he was talking into a hot mike, so the entire world of FOX viewers heard him.
He laughed it off as “something that happens on live TV.”
Yes, spinning the news is something that just happens, especially when your entire station is one, huge, lying POS.
Remember that FOX is the station that paid $787.5 million (!) to settle a defamation lawsuit brought by Dominion Voting Systems. FOX lied that Dominion’s voting machines helped rig the 2020 presidential election. 
In another FOX case, this one involving alleged lies by Tucker Carlson, FOX argued that it was not a news organization, but an entertainment organization — and the judge agreed!
What does that say about the intelligence of the people who watch FOX for news and enlightenment? 
III. “Not My Fault”
FOX reported that Trump, who never accepts blame for anything, excused the bloodbath by claiming “My name was not on the ballot.” This came after Trump begged voters to “Pretend my name is on the ballot.”
The most unpopular (and crooked and incompetent) president in U.S. history is so delusional — perhaps partly because he is surrounded by fawners — that despite all the polls, he still believed America loved him and his cruel, undemocratic, dictatorial policies. 
No, Donald, your name was on every ballot, which is why you and your useless lackey party were soundly rejected. You have only yourself to blame, though I expect you to blame everyone else (who did your bidding) and claim the election was “rigged.”
And slack-jawed, drooling MAGAs probably will believe you.
IV. Flushing Dollars Down the Toilet. 
I don’t remember whether FOX said this — I was getting a bit giddy as the results came in — but there were reports that Elon Musk spent $446–474 million currying favor with Trump.
Sadly, that nearly $500 million was to Musk like $5 would be to me, and though the GOP was shellacked, Trump is still president and still handing out favors to rich toadies. So those “toilet dollars” will turn out to be a good investment in Trump’s criminality.
And even more sadly, Don the don, will pardon all the criminals who supported him (including, no doubt, the “Epstein girl” languishing in high style at Camp Paradise, courtesy of President “I have nothing to hide, but don’t reveal anything.”)
V. Irony
In perhaps the funniest moment of an evening filled with laughs, the two aforementioned blonde ladies offered the hope that the Democrats would not politicize the legal system by trying to convict crooked Trump and his gang of incompetent bootlickers, because that would not be “productive.”
What? Politicize the government? Who would do such a thing?
Not Trump. Not Kash Patel. Not David Venturella or Charles Wall
And surely not the six bobblehead Republicans on the Supreme Court who gave Trump royal powers.
No, that would be illegal, and unthinkable in the Trump sphere.
All in all, it was a wonderful evening, though hours of watching FOX “News” attempt to spin for hours did become a bit tedious. After all, how much Three Stooges can one handle in a single night?
Rodger Malcolm Mitchell
