You too can get rich like I did this year.

• • Cryptocurrency ventures (especially World Liberty Financial and related token sales/royalties): Over $1.1–1.4 billion
  • Licensing agreements (including “Celebration Coins”): about $635 million.
  • And other minor stuff I knew about in advance.

You could do it, too. Just follow these three easy steps:

• • 1. Own Congress
    2. Own the Supreme Court
    3. Tell the Congress and SCOTUS lackeys to rule that you can do anything you want while you’re President, and no one can touch you. (1)

So there it is, folks. Three easy steps that any President will be able to do in the future.

But, I’m not done yet. Vote Republican this fall, and my Congressional and SCOTUS zombies will make sure I earn another $10 billion– maybe $100 billion before I hit the “theoretical” term limit. (I have some ways to get around that, too.)

And in case you’re wondering whether this costs you anything, I’ve taken care of that. I’ll save you money when I:

• • 1. Cut your Medicare benefits
    2. Cut your Medicaid benefits
    3. Cut your Social Security benefits
    4. Cut your food stamps
    5. Cut your school lunch benefits
    6. Cut anything else that doesn’t benefit my rich pals and sons
    7. Increase your FICA taxes
    8. Deport non-white, non-Christian immigrants (2)

(1) Isn’t this exactly why we fought the Revolutionary War — to rid ourselves of a king?

(2) Actually, this one costs the government money because immigrants pay taxes and don’t get benefits. But MAGAs don’t know that. (Shhh . . . Keep it quiet.)

Rodger Malcolm Mitchell