We killed their top people, so I fired ours. Then I hired the dumbest guy I could find because he’s too stupid to overthrow me. He was even too stupid to plan on Iran closing the Strait of Hormuz. Soon, I’ll fire his butt and blame him for the Iran fiasco. At least, this took Epstein out of the news. Now, who can I blame for the inflation and healthcare? Hey, how about building a giant arch? That should make MAGAs forget that they can’t pay their mortgage and that the farmers have no one to pick crops. Maybe I’ll blame woke.
When Trump was criticized for posting a picture of himself as Jesus Christ, he claimed it was only a picture of him as a doctor (which of course he also isn’t). But does this really look like Trump as a doctor?
Yes, I blasted the Pope for being “soft on crime,” but he deserved it. And yes, I like to portray myself as Jesus, but hey, what’s a little blasphemy among friends? And yes, I promised you I never would start a war, but bombing people into the Stone Age isn’t a war. And it isn’t a war crime. It’s what Jesus would do, isn’t it? Don’t I look exactly like a doctor in this picture? Look at all those people adoring me. Vote Republican, suckers. I have lots more promises for you to believe. And I definitely am not a psychopath.