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Christopher Wray: Yes sir, Mr. President. The FBI will conduct a fair and thorough investigation (wink, wink). We will not accept, let alone look for, damning testimony from any witnesses, even those who try to reach us. This all will be over in a week, just as you ask.

Donald Trump: Good boy. You may keep your job.

Wray: In fact, we have been hiding from those witnesses.
Trump: I love you almost as much as I love Putin, Duterte, and Kim