I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to keep track of Donald Trump’s various defenses for his many misdeeds.
But, to help you keep track of all the dozens of exuses you have used to defend a compulsive liar, I have provided you with a concise list of excuses just for the FBI investigation.
Feel free to choose any one or use them all together, and see which one works.
This list applies only to the FBI’s investigation at Mar-a-Lago. Do not use it for other misdeeds like his insurrection, his lack of COVID response, his “stolen election” lies, his cheating on all three wives, his tax cheating, Trump U., Trump Foundation, his attempt to blackmail the president of Ukraine, his fake bone spurs, his crowd sizes, etc., etc., etc.
If you need a list of special excuses to defend any of those, please let me know. I’ll create a whole new set for you.
The Withheld Files Crime
- I didn’t do it
- It’s no big deal; they aren’t classified documents.
- It’s the left-wing media hoax
- It’s a Democrat hoax (or witch hunt.)
- I didn’t know the boxes were there
- Obama did the same thing
- The FBI planted those documents
- I didn’t know they were classified
- I declassified them
- I had a standing order to declassify them
- Pence (or Meadows, or Stone, etc.) was supposed to declassify them
- I took them home to work on them (Try not to laugh when using this one.)
- I meant to return them when I left office.
- I didn’t know I was supposed to return them (despite 18 months of requests by the National Archive).
- I thought those top-secret atomic files already were declassified
- On the advice of my lawyers
- The GSA mistakenly packed the boxes and moved them to Mar-a-Lago
- I offered to give the files back but they didn’t want them.
- What about Russiagate?
- What about Benghazi?
- What about Hillary’s Emails?
- What about Hunter?
- The FBI wasn’t really looking for those records; it was just a fishing expedition.
- The FBI agents went rogue.
- The judge was biased against Trump.
- Biden sent them.
- Garland didn’t know anything about it.
- Garland hates Trump
- Someone else threw those papers into my toilet.
- [TO BE CONTINUED IF YOU CAN THINK OF SOME BETTER ONES]
To aid the GOP in its downward helix of criminality, please send me any additional excuses they can use for the inexcusable.
Rodger Malcolm Mitchell
Twitter: @rodgermitchell Search #monetarysovereignty
Facebook: Rodger Malcolm Mitchell
THE SOLE PURPOSE OF GOVERNMENT IS TO IMPROVE AND PROTECT THE LIVES OF THE PEOPLE.
The most important problems in economics involve:
- Monetary Sovereignty describes money creation and destruction.
- Gap Psychology describes the common desire to distance oneself from those “below” in any socio-economic ranking, and to come nearer those “above.” The socio-economic distance is referred to as “The Gap.”
Wide Gaps negatively affect poverty, health and longevity, education, housing, law and crime, war, leadership, ownership, bigotry, supply and demand, taxation, GDP, international relations, scientific advancement, the environment, human motivation and well-being, and virtually every other issue in economics. Implementation of Monetary Sovereignty and The Ten Steps To Prosperity can grow the economy and narrow the Gaps: Ten Steps To Prosperity:
- Eliminate FICA
- Federally funded Medicare — parts A, B & D, plus long-term care — for everyone
- Social Security for all
- Free education (including post-grad) for everyone
- Salary for attending school
- Eliminate federal taxes on business
- Increase the standard income tax deduction, annually.
- Tax the very rich (the “.1%”) more, with higher progressive tax rates on all forms of income.
- Federal ownership of all banks
- Increase federal spending on the myriad initiatives that benefit America’s 99.9%
The Ten Steps will grow the economy and narrow the income/wealth/power Gap between the rich and the rest.